More Than a Grandma

Something I wanted to share with everyone:

Ba Noi, my grandma, was always there for me since I was born. While my mother was in the hospital, and my father worked the late-night shifts, she took care of me. She changed my diapers; she checked up on me. She even brought me to my aunts’ house despite their concerns for their carpets, since I was the “puking baby”. She frequently brought up my size when I was a baby, comparing me to the size of her bottle of water, and always mentioned how Co Thu Nga had to order these special little diapers. She was truly a mother to me.

When I was a child, Grandma and I shared a room together. Every night, she would have me pray along with her, which was how I learned to say my prayers in both Vietnamese and in English. We would go to church often: daily on weekday mornings, Wednesday night for their special prayer ceremony where people fall on their backs, and Sundays mass. She always encouraged me to go to Tieu Nhuy, and was very proud of me when I started to alter serve. Even when in the nursing home, as a pastime, we would pray a rosary together, switching back and forth. And when it was almost time for her to go to sleep, I would hop in bed with her. Despite her disabilities, she managed to scoot over to give me more room, even though I said I had enough room. She was my praying partner, and was also my roommate.

Grandma taught me many skills to become an independent person. I learned how to cook rice, figuring out the proper ratio of rice to water, to cleaning the grains of rice properly. I learned how to wash the dishes, which I love to do when I was child, and now dread. However, I learned how to garden, which I used to hate because she always made me pull weeds; but I now enjoy. She was my teacher.

We went to many places, even besides church. Whenever we had spare time, she always asked me, “Where do you want to go?” and she would drive me to one of the retail stores. We also went to many of the aunts’ and uncles’ homes to visit or spend a night there, and to the Farmer’s Market where she would barter and buy flowers for Mary’s statue in church. She did all of her driving by taking the inner, surface streets. Later on, I drove her to places. One of her favorite places was going to the San Dimas Nature Center, where she looked at various animals, from opossums to snakes, which she used to hate to watch on television. And she loved going to the thrift stores too. She was always at awe with the prices and the things that they had to offer. She was my road trip buddy and the best girlfriend to shop with.

Whenever I had a long day, I would talk to Grandma about it, which was usually about school and work. And she would share her day as well, which involved her talking about how her knees would be in pain due to the cold weather. She was very kick back as well. We would watch some show on the Animal Planet, or when she would start to eat my hamburger from working at In-N-Out. She was a good friend to talk to.

Although, the memories that I will miss the most is being able to walk by her room, and see the light shining through her door, knowing that she was still awake, even though it is past one in the morning. And that I could pop my head in to make some silly noise, like some random farm animal sound, or creep through to get her confused, or wondering who it was, and hearing her say, “Ai vay? Diana?” And that I know I will see her there, laying in bed, holding her magazine, bao Duc Me, just happy to see me come in.

I truly believe I was fortunate to know one of the most wonderful people, because she was more than a grandma; she was a roommate, a shopping partner, a religious devotee, an adventurer, a teacher, a best friend, a mother, and much more.

I will always miss her.

Road Trips

When I was younger, I remember Grandma driving. She took me to so many places. As previously mentioned, she took me to the aunts’ and uncles’ homes by taking the surface streets; never the freeway. We would go to “Wah-maht”, the Farmer’s Market in San Dimas, and frequently, church. We would go to church daily: on weekday mornings, Wednesday night for their special prayer ceremony, and Sundays mass. I just remembered, she even took me to and attended my elementary school band concert.

As I got older, I started to take on her role. It was different this time around, because we weren’t limited to going to local areas, though I am still amazed to how she drove without using the freeways. We went to Walmart still, but we also went to thrift and dollar stores, which she truly adores a lot since she was always at awe with the prices; parks, like the one in La Verne with a nice hiking trail and a cave, and my college’s Wildlife Sanctuary; and of course, church.

Though I did not get a chance to, due to her stroke, my next plan was to take her to the zoo, since she loved animals.

Grandma was more than a grandma to me, she was my driving and shopping buddy. And I’m sure many of the aunts and uncles can agree with, she always loved to talk when she was in the passenger’s seat.

Bless the Holy Water

by Chu Toan

This was Grandma’s remedy to treat Chu Toan’s gallbladder stones:

I’d told the story but not sure who sent it in…. Anyhow, it was true!!  Grandma sprinkled Holy Water on me at the same time said Hail Mary while I was crawling around on the ground with extreme and very sharp pain!!  X-ray did not find anything but I haven’t  gotten the same pain since!!

Grandpa’s and Grandma’s Passing

by Nai

I was also out of town the week Grandpa died. When I returned from a camping trip with my class, my dad picked me up from school, which was highly unusual. Normally, I would just walk to Grandma & Grandpa’s house after school. Even stranger, Liz, Irene & Emily were with my dad. When I asked them why they weren’t in school, they said they didn’t feel like going to school. When we got to Grandma & Grandpa’s house, my dad stopped me outside to share the news of Grandpa’s passing. Then we walked into the house. The first thing I did was run to Grandma and she held me while I sobbed into her lap.

I feel strangely disconnected because I haven’t seen Grandma for over 5-1/2 months. It makes me sad that Grandma is gone, but I don’t really think it will hit me until I am back in California.  I am saddened that I can’t be there for the funeral and that I can’t be there with the family.  I am most sad that Evan will never get to meet his great grandma.  I was already having visions of Evan and Grandma meeting when we came back to California for Evan’s baptism.  I imagined Grandma being in the front row of the church at the baptism.  Now instead, she will have a view from above with Grandpa.

Home Remedy

by Nai

I remember one morning before elementary school, I wasn’t feeling well.  I don’t exactly remember my symptoms, but Grandma’s home remedy was for me to sit in a tub of ice water and then hot water.  It was weird but I think it worked.  Grandma always liked alternative ways of treating health problems.

Khong Chiu

by Nai

After I started dating Jason, I went out to lunch with Grandma, Jason, Co Bong and I think Emily and Elicia were also there. After lunch, I was walking in the parking lot with Grandma and Co Bong. Grandma then told me in Vietnamese that I should stick with Jason. I didn’t understand what she said, so I told her “khong hieu.” Grandma got indignate and asked me why not. As it turns out, she thought I said “khong chiu” which means “I won’t.” She was upset because she thought I didn’t want to stay with Jason. Good thing Co Bong was there to clear up the misunderstanding. Grandma knew a good man when she saw one. She called Jason “Jay-cee.”

Bathing Suit

by Nai

When Grandma went to Hawaii with my family, she went to the beach.  She even wore a bathing suit and went in the water.  I think this was in 1988.  Has she been in a bathing suit since?

New Year’s Tears

by Nai

No matter who said it or what was said, Grandma without fail would cry during the annual Tet speech.  It was very endearing and funny.

Tasty Toast

by Nai

When I was in elementary school, I used to got to Grandma and Grandpa’s house before and after school.  I remember for a snack, she used to make me buttered toast with sugar on top.  I don’t think I have ever seen that before anywhere else.  I remember liking it.

Prayer and Acceptance

by Thi-Anh

Great-Grandma Cuc passed away a few days ago on March 15, 2007. She had been battling the effects of a stroke that occurred about 6 months ago and just couldn’t pull through a bout of pneumonia. My grandma and Kannyn’s Great-Grandma was an awesome person. As long as I can remember, she had always supported me whether it be my first communion or my graduation from high school. What’s more special was that she supported Kannyn. She always made sure to think of her. At my baby shower and at Kannyn’s Baptism, she would come up to me and hand me an envelope with money and told me to make sure I got something for her. I could always tell that I always had a special place in her heart along with all my other 25 cousins. Although there were always a lot of us, I never felt as if we were blended. We were each seperate and special in her eyes. Even though I forget a lot of the things that happened in my early childhood, I always have the same flashback memory of my grandma and me. The memory is of her and me laying in her bed and talking. I can picture how the bed was and what wall it was on. I can also picture looking at the closet and grandma laying to the right of me. I had to of been very young, because I was still fluent in Vietnamese and the room that used to be hers is now currently my dad’s. Therefore, I don’t even remember the last time she used that room as her own.

I do wish that as I grew older that I would have been as close to her as I was as a young child. As I lost my Vietnamese throughout growing up, it was always a little bit harder to communicate with her. For as long as I can remember, everytime I would talk to her, she would always ask where my brother was and where my dad was. Haha. She always thought about everyone else. She’d always be concerned if I had to drive “all the way” back to Santa Barbara late at night (Actually both of my grandmas worry about this). She also always made sure we would eat and many times would send me home different types of fruit for either my mom or myself.

I’d have to admit that when I first got pregnant with Kannyn, one of the first thing that went through my mind was, “What was Grandma Cuc going to think?” I mean, she was a lady that very religious and I just didn’t know how I would tell her. Well, I was spared and took the backseat while my mom sat down and told her at my cousin Elicia and Mai-Anh’s graduation party. Her most concerning question was, “Is Kris Catholic?” When my mom told her “yes” she accepted it. I sure had the biggest sigh of relief.

Kannyn was her 6th great-grandchild and when she is older, she will definitely know how her great-grandma was. She was such an amazing, strong-willed, devoted, and active woman. She took care of 10 children and a bunch of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She was the anchor that held our large family together and now although it will be hard without her, we’ve learned how to keep our families close and will continue with traditions knowing that she will be with my grandpa watching down on us.

I was lucky enough to spend some time with my grandma a week before her passing. Although it was heartbreaking to see her suffer, I was glad to have been able to tell her that I loved her. There was a moment in the ER when I was the only one with her. As I was holding her good left hand and watching her in pain, I thought to myself what else I could do. So I decided to do something I had not done in a really long time, and that was to pray. I knew my grandma loved praying, so I took her hand, bent down close to her ear and started praying. I started praying the Hail Mary aloud and then proceeded with the Our Father. About halfway through the Our Father, I looked up and low and behold, a priest was right in front of me. For a moment, I was a little confused. I mean, the first time in a long time that I decide to pray and a priest emerges. Little did I know, he was there to give grandma her last blessing and I was very lucky to be involved in it. He gave grandma her last anointing with oil and holy water. Co Nga, Co Mai, Elicia, Grandma, and I held hands with the priest and prayed. It was such a special moment that I will always remember. Grandma was very calm and I could tell that she took it all in. She was ready for her journey to Heaven.